I’ve found great pleasure in purchasing my crafting supplies elsewhere and signing dozens upon dozens of online petitions. But what else can I do? Here’s a list!
1.) Cross-stitch a uterus onto a blanket and use a nail-gun to safely attach it to the Hobby Lobby CEO’s car.
2.) Paint an uncommissioned mural of various kind of birth control on a Hobby Lobby sign. If the manager is upset, claim that they must have lost your contract. Why would you just randomly paint a mural? Oh, and that’ll be five hundred bucks.
3.) Make a scarf out of tampons, leave it next to your cross-stitched car-blanket. That car will be so warm.
4.) Hand out coupons and flyers for Michaels outside of your local Hobby Lobby.
5.) Decorate a Hobby Lobby with condoms, maxi pads, and streamers in the dead of night. It’ll be like in ‘Elf’, but even cooler!
6.) Go to a Hobby Lobby. Find a nice aisle in the center of the store. Rearrange various shelved objects into a three-dimensional portrait of yourself flicking off the store chain. (Bonus: if you’re incredibly wealthy and wasteful, glue together individual birth control pills into your three-dimensional portrait, instead! Personally deliver prototypes to Hobby Lobby shareholders)
7.) Streaking is always a good idea.
8.) Fill a Hobby Lobby parking lot with cardboard cut outs of Ruth Bader Ginsburg. They can be arranged like an angry mob, or a ‘Shining’-like maze!
9.) Make a voodoo doll of a Hobby Lobby store. It will probably look like a derpy pillow with the words “Hobby Lobby” on it. That’s okay. Stab it with pins and stuff. Take out your aggressions.
10.) Send laxative chocolates to their upper level management. It could be a belated Valentine’s Day gift (for yourself).
11.) Perhaps send one of those glorious glitter envelopes?
13.) Demand to know if Hobby Lobby sells anything made of both wool and linen. If the manager says they aren’t sure, assert yourself! The bible says in Deuteronomy 22:11 “Do not wear clothes of wool and linen woven together”. Insist that they can’t just follow SOME of the rules. It’s all or nothing!
14.) Write a musical about it. Broadway would love it!
Photo Credit: Cagle.com