Quantifying Sex?

As a guy who considers himself an advocate of equality for men and women I can be the first to tell you that I have on occasion been hypocritical to that advocacy. In today’s generation where sex happens casually, there is a thing some guys do when it involves dating women: they like to compare each other’s numbers.

Let me explain, there is some type of pride attached to the number of women a male has slept with.  There is also a pride in the “quality” of whom he has slept with.  And honestly, it is pretty disgusting if you think about it, but I have found myself laughing and enjoying myself when guys get together and have this type of discussion.  I have even witnessed people making jokes towards virgins when this goes on!

It is undoubtedly objectifying women, but I am not so sure that some guys realize how grotesque the idea of having numbers really is.  I want to ask whoever may be reading this if this discussion occurs among your friends?

I am not sure if many women have similar discussions to this, some that I have asked said that they do, but for them there was pride attached more to the quality of whom they sleep with rather than the quantity.  I wonder if this is a product of how the media has portrayed sex, or if quantifying sex is more prevalent in competitive atmospheres, like sports teams or fraternities and sororities?

the perfect girl

According to the internet, this on the right is the perfect woman. Now, correct me if I am wrong, but I do not see many people taking something like this serious. However, it is undoubtedly true that women are objectified in a similar fashion to this picture when they are treated as trophies on a list.

There are obviously media driven tendencies in deciding what to look for in a partner, and I want to know if you think that this is wrong?  Also consider for yourself if the “number” of a potential partner matters to you.  Is that a question that you ask?  Can something that was once a pride also be an indicator of embarrassment if in fact it did matter to a potential partner?  Should it matter?

I would love to see some feedback on if readers personally have experienced this kind of competition, or have had friends who have demonstrated the idea of quality or quantity as a sense of pride.  I personally think that it is okay for people to have a taste when looking for a partner, and if you find someone that you really like you should be proud!  But if sex and the pride derived out of it are the key motivators on your list, which it is for so many people of my generation, do you think it is wrong?


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